So I've not been so good at keeping up...

I've had a list of things in my notebook that I wanted to write about - the guy dancing on the steamroller in the construction crew on highway 6, picking out a band for the wedding, handwriting, new knitting projects, my attachment to murlocs, why I'm a musician (and yet don't practice the piano)... the list is quite long now.

But instead I have been goofing around, occasionally studying, and going home to celebrate my mother's birthday, which was a roaring success. We did actually manage to surprise her (even if she al most wouldn't get out of the damn car!), and a good time was had by all. And I have leftover chocolate cake too.

I suppose, as with all things, there is some wax and wane to the process of keeping a journal. Some days I think I know what I want to say, only to sit and stare at the little blinky cursor and not find any words at all. Some days I forget that the thing even exists. Today seems to be a blinky cursor day, and not just here but with my term papers as well (the first of which is due a week from tomorrow). Usually that week is enough to instill the Fear of the Deadline (tm) and get me working, but apparently not this morning. Fear of a piano jury hasn't helped that much either. I worked for 2 hours yesterday in a practice room... my longest single setting time since at least April - which is REALLY SAD. I love playing - it makes me a happy person, and yet I don't go and do it.

Maybe it's senioritis. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe it's the fact that I'm still allergic to Waco, and getting over a cold. Whatever the case may be, my concentration level is absolutely zilch when it comes to studying. Knitting? sure - I can do that for hours, especially with some nice music or a movie on in the background. Reading? articles, magazines, novels - of course! books for class... not so much. I can hardly make myself sit still long enough to outline chapters in my history text (so that I can get good grades on the quizzes and get out of parts of the test).

I've also fallen off the wagon when it comes to walking. Right now the only actual exercise I do is walking to class (about 2.5 miles tuesday and thursday). When last spring (and over the summer) I was doing 3-5 miles a day on top of all of that. I know I have a wedding, I know I want my dress to fit and to look nice, I know i'm going to have to wear a swimsuit for my honeymoon... but I just can't make myself go.

I've lost my motivation and willpower - anyone seen them? Neither is particularly large, but when peeved they can be a right pain to deal with. Please call if found, possible reward.